


The One Where Everyone's Suddenly Attracted to Sebastian and He Freaks Out

by CursingBunny



Category: Actor RPF, Marvel Cinematic Universe RPF
Genre: I'm so sorry, M/M, No Real Time Frame, attempts at light-hearted writing, crackish?, no real setting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-09-07
Updated: 2014-09-07
Packaged: 2018-02-16 11:42:41
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,413
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2268426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CursingBunny/pseuds/CursingBunny
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sebastian should have known something was wrong when the old lady had cackled at the pink stain on his shirt. The pink stain she had caused, might he add, by (accidentally? on purpose?) splashing the contents of her cup on him.</p>
<p>But she looked like a sweet person (if you disregarded the cackling) and it was an honest mistake (he thinks) so he’d just grinned at her and told her not to worry about it. </p>
<p>He should know by now to never trust his own judgment.<br/>---<br/>Or: The one where a pink potion makes him attractive to everyone for a day and he freaks out.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The One Where Everyone's Suddenly Attracted to Sebastian and He Freaks Out

**Author's Note:**

> I am not good at titles, did you notice?
> 
> This is my first attempt at this pairing and also, my first attempt at this kind of plot. 
> 
> (I am also not good at light-heartedness, did you notice?)
> 
> Please do tell me what I can improve on, how I should improve it, but also please be kind! :)
> 
> Psst: I have a [tumblr](http://whatthebuckbucky.tumblr.com/)

Sebastian should have known something was wrong when the old lady had cackled at the pink stain on his shirt. The pink stain  _she_ had caused, might he add, by  _accidentally? on purpose?_ splashing the contents of her cup on him.

But she looked like a sweet person (if you disregarded the cackling) and it was an honest mistake (he thinks) so he’d just grinned at her and told her not to worry about it. 

He should know by now to never trust his own judgment.

"Anthony."

No response.

"Anthony, please."

Should the fact that his  _very much straight_ friend was currently stroking his chest disturb him? Probably not since, you know, it was Mackie. And it definitely hadn’t. Not at first, anyway. Two minutes ago, he had laughed and asked him what he was doing. He hadn’t received a response then, either.

Which left him stuck here, unsure if he should be pulling away, or be letting Mackie finish his joke, whatever it was, _because it was definitely a joke, right?_

A satisfied hum sounded from Mackie and Sebastian froze, eyes darting between the hand on his chest and the face that was _getting closer and what the fu-_

Sebastian jumped out of the chair.

“I’ve got something to do, um, somewhere else!” he took a few steps back before blurting out, “Sorry!”

He rushes off, pretending he hadn’t heard the call of his name in Mackie’s unusual despondent tone.

He was mistaken. He must’ve been mistaken. Mackie wouldn’t- Mackie wasn’t-

He groans, leaning against a wall, distantly thankful for the support. He tries to imagine Mackie doubled over, hands clasping together as his eyes scrunch up in laughter, congratulating himself on his victory over Sebastian because, of course that’s what it was.

Of course.

Laughing softly at his idiocy, Sebastian shakes his head and pushes himself off the wall, already practicing a thinly veiled insult to throw at Mackie.

Which, of course, is when Frank Grillo turned around the corner, bumping into an unprepared Sebastian, whose arms start pin wheeling in an effort to regain his balance.

Hands clasp his shoulders in an iron grip, and he is set back upright. He looks up at Grillo, apology catching in his throat when he sees Grillo’s eyes travel down his frame with an assessing gaze.

“Sebastian Stan,” he says, an odd note of approval in his voice.

“Um,” Sebastian squeaks _and_ _why the hell is he squeaking?_

He clears his throat.

“Yep,” he says lamely with a small chuckle _it was not a giggle damn it,_ “that’s me!”

_What the fuck, Sebastian?_

Grillo doesn’t seem to notice, his hand abruptly planting itself onto Sebastian’s chest, fingers splayed possessively.

“Um,” Sebastian says again.

Because who needs words, right?

The hand travels to the left, pressing against the pink stain Sebastian had forgotten about in the face of Mackie’s sudden molestation. He flushes, mouth beginning to shape the first words of an explanation. Grillo cuts him off before he can begin.

“You should take this off.”

Sebastian nods, lips stretching into a sheepish grin. He doesn’t notice Grillo’s eyes following the movement, _except he really did and what the hell was going on?!_

“Yeah, I really should. I don’t have any spare-“

His words burst into a surprised exclamation as Grillo begins tugging at the hem of his shirt.

“Get it off, Sebastian.”

There’s a quiet command in his voice that pushes Sebastian into action, his shirt pulled up to his waist before _what the hell no_

He leans back, straightening the shirt over his skin, eyebrows furrowed. He looks up at Grillo, speechless. He swallows, disappointment clear in Grillo’s eyes and he _actually wants to apologize_ so he pulls himself out of the grip of strong hands, muttering a quick ‘I should go,’ before dashing off.

_Okay,_ he tries to reason, _okay._ This had to be some elaborate Mackie plan. Or hell, even a competition. A ‘see who can freak Sebastian out more’ competition. And although he was happy, so happy, really, extremely happy to be considered important enough to do this to, he was just ready for it to end.

“Hey, soldier.”

_No nonono NO_

He stops anyway, because his mother raised him better than to ignore ladies calling for him. Even if said lady was sporting an amused smirk, hips swaying as she walked towards him, _which wasn’t normal, was it?_

“Miss Johansson!” he says too loudly, _and what the hell was wrong with him today?!_

Scarlett just chuckles, raising an eyebrow.

“’Miss Johansson?’” she repeats, stopping in front of him, almost too close.

“Scarlett,” he amends, taking a step back.

She laughs again, hand dipping into her pocket.

“You’re a funny kid,” she says as she pulls something out, “think you could help me with something?”

Sebastian begins to relax. Whatever the hell Mackie had planned, Scarlett wasn’t in it. Hopefully.

“Yeah, of course. What do you need?”

She holds her hand out, a small sweet wrapped in a pink wrapper lying on her palm.

“Taste this for me? Tell me if it’s any good.”

Sebastian nods, slightly confused as he takes the candy and unwraps it. His eyes dart away from Scarlett’s intense gaze as he pops it into his mouth, the taste of strawberry stinging his tongue.

“How is it?”

Sebastian rolls the sweet around his mouth for a few seconds before nodding approvingly.

“It’s really good.”

“Great.”

And that’s the only warning he gets before she reaches up and yanks his head down into a kiss. He is frozen, unable to move as Scarlett’s tongue runs across his lips, before smoothly sliding into his mouth and curling slightly before she pulls away, taking the sweet with her.

She hums, considering, before she gives him a grin.

“It _is_ really good.”

He stays still for a second. Two seconds, before he regains control of his limbs and takes off, unable to stutter out an excuse this time.

He yanks open the first door he sees, gaze falling onto a half-rising Samuel L. Jackson with a smirk on his face.

“Kid-“

He slams it shut immediately and starts running once more.

_I’m going to kill Mackie. I’m going to kill him!_

He turns a corner, almost hysterically searching for another door, because _what is this place where the hell are all the rooms_

He spots another lone door at the end of the corridor and speeds up. _Thank god._

He throws it open, searching the room for any signs of life before closing it behind him and locking it, collapsing in exhaustion with his back to the door.

“Sebastian?”

_Fuck. My. Life._

He scrambles up, arms flung out.

“Not a step closer, Chris, I swear to god!”

_Not Chris please not Chris please please not Chris_

Because he doesn’t know – he couldn’t be sure if he could fend Chris off, if he would _want_ to fend him off.

“Hey, hey, relax! What’s wrong?”

Sebastian’s eyes narrow in suspicion. Chris has his arms flung out too, eyes wide with concerned surprise.

“What are you thinking right now?"

“Uh…”

Chris looks confused, which, okay, seems logical, but he’s _not answering and he has to answer_ or Sebastian was going to go crazy.

“Are you going to-“

At this point, he performs a strange gesture that he hopes expresses exactly what he feels. At Chris’ confused squint, he gathers that he isn’t doing a very good job. He sighs, slumping against the door once more.

“Just- stay there. Don’t move.”

“Okay?”

Chris drags out the word, backing away.

“I said don’t move!”

Chris freezes.

“I’m sorry, I thought-“

Sebastian shakes his head.

“Shit, no, sorry, I’m sorry. I’m just, Mackie with his hands, Grillo and my shirt and Scarlett – oh god, Samuel L. Jackson – with the sweet and the kissing and the ‘Kid’-“

Chris’ eyes had widened even more, Sebastian notices as he gasps for breath.

“Sam _kissed_ you?”

_What?_

“Wha- No! God, Scarlett, it was Scarlett and-“

“ _Scarlett_ kissed you?!”

“She tricked me, Chris, she tricked me!”

Sebastian’s arms fall, all energy suddenly drained from him. His head drops to his chest and he lets out a long breath.

A few seconds pass before Chris starts speaking.

“Alright, Seb, you gonna tell me what happened?”

He just did!

“I just di-“

“From the start? Think you can do that?”

Sebastian thinks.

“No.”

Chris raises an eyebrow and nods slowly.

“Alright,” he gestures at the floor, “Can I…?”

Sebastian jerks, hissing when his head knocks up against the doorknob.

“Shit, uh, yeah. Go ahead.”

Chris lowers himself to the floor, keeping his movements slow.

When he finally settles down, he frowns.

“Seb? Did you know that your, uh,”

Chris points to his own chest and Sebastian glances down, pink stain catching his eye, almost mocking.

“Fuck.”

He buries his face in his hands and squeezes his eyes shut, muttering curses into the comforting darkness.

“Hey.”

Sebastian looks up to Chris smiling softly at him.

“Whatever’s happening… it’s gonna be alright, Seb.”

Sebastian involuntarily returns the grin, cheeks warming with a blush.

* * *

 Chris is nodding, eyes wide as Sebastian finally finishes recounting the horrors he had gone through.

“Shit.”

Sebastian nods sadly, staring at the palms of his hands.

“They kept touching me, Chris.”

“Shit,” he hears again.

Sebastian looks up, raising an eyebrow.

“I got it the first time, you know.”

Chris shook his head, as if clearing his thoughts. Sebastian wishes he could get rid of the memories the same way.

“You wanna, uh, go ask ‘em?”

Sebastian stares at Chris in horror.

“I guess that’s a ‘no’.”

“ _No,_ Chris, I do not want to _ask_ them anything!”

Chris grins sheepishly, shrugging slightly.

“It could be a prank or something.”

Sebastian frowns.

“Wouldn’t they have told you about it, then?”

“Um,” he says, “they probably thought I woulda told you about it if they did.”

_Chris?_ Passing up a chance to prank someone? _Chris?!_

“Have they even met you?”

Chris gains an odd tint of red to his cheeks and laughed.

“I don’t know, they probably wouldn’t have been too far off the mark.”

Sebastian regards Chris closely.

“Would you-“

The sound of knocking makes them both jump, Sebastian hitting his head on the doorknob once more, a stream of curses rolling off his tongue.

“Sebastian?”

_Mackie. Fuck._

Sebastian almost lets out a whimper as he scrambles up, sprinting to the other end of the room.

“Save me,” he mouths to Chris, who hadn’t moved from his spot.

Chris gets an adorably serious look on his face as he nods and pushes himself up, striding to the door.

Sebastian wants to kiss him.

Instead, he dives behind a couch and barely breathes, listening closely. He can’t make out the words through the rapid beating of his heart, but he hears Mackie’s familiar laugh and flinches.

Eventually, the door closes and the footsteps that moved toward him belonged only to one person.

“Seb?”

“Chris.”

Sebastian vaults over the sofa and makes it to Chris in two long strides. He clasps at Chris’ shoulders and looks up at him imploringly.

“You have to get me out of here, Chris.”

Chris seems a little dazed, no reply emerging from him, so Sebastian shakes him, suddenly desperate.

“ _Chris!”_

Chris coughs, stepping back quickly and turning away.

“Yeah, okay.”

Sebastian frowns at the sudden gruffness in Chris’ voice.

“O-or I could do it myself, really, I mean, if you aren’t-“

“No! No, no, I’d love to help you. Really.”

Sebastian studies Chris, suspicious, but he drops it, grinning.

“Thank you,” he looks around, afraid that someone would be jumping out from behind the furniture, waiting for his guard to be down before he asks, “What do we do first?”

* * *

 

It took the destruction of a sofa, several curtains, a wig and a ballpoint pen, but Sebastian manages to escape the building (relatively) unscathed.

“I’m so sorry!”

Sebastian shakes his head, as Chris picks glass out of his hands.

“You didn’t know it was down there.”

“Do you need the hospital? I should bring you to the hospital, oh god, this one looks really bad!”

Sebastian laughs, pushing Chris away.

“I’m alright, Chris. Really.”

Chris frowns at him.

Sebastian wriggles his fingers and grins, hiding a flinch.

“See? I’m all good.”

Chris sighs, stepping away.

“At least let me walk you home.”

“Chris, I’m not going to die from blood loss in the next ten minutes.”

Chris remains resolute and Sebastian rolls his eyes.

“Alright, fine.”

The walk to his apartment is silent. Sebastian wonders if this would be classified as a comfortable one. He glances at Chris, wonders if he should say something. He doesn’t.

They stop outside his building and, _yes this. This is awkward._ Sebastian turns and watches Chris study the building. He ducks his head down, embarrassed, even though he knew it was a perfectly respectable building, thank you very much.

He clears his throat and Chris’ gaze jerks to his.

“This is me.”

“Yeah.”

Sebastian laughs, turning away before he can act on the sudden desire to press his lips against the small crease between Chris’ eyebrows. He clears his throat again, this time to call his own attention.

“So, I’d better-“

Chris does a little jerk with his body, eyes widening in an ‘oh no, I’m so sorry’ type of way that makes Sebastian want to cry because _this man. This fucking Chris Evans._ A small thought of _I would like to see a fucking Chris Evans_ darts through his mind and he chokes. He eyes Chris, relieved to see that Chris’ stammering speech had drowned it out.

“Oh, yeah, of course! I’ll just… leave. Don’t forget to treat your wounds! Clean them first, press some cloth on it to stop the bleeding, oh shit, do you have bandages? Do you need me to get some-“

“Chris!” Sebastian laughs, “I’m good! Really, I’ll be fine!”

Chris hovers uncertainly for a moment before giving a nod, spinning on his heel to turn away.

“Thanks for your help,” he adds before Chris starts walking.

“Anytime!”

Sebastian watches Chris’ retreating back for a second before tearing his gaze away, swallowing. He moves towards the entrance of his building when Chris’ voice rings through the air once more.

“Call me if you need anything!”

“Alright, Chris!” Sebastian yells back, fondly exasperated, “I got it.”

He’s smiling wildly as he finally enters his building and he feels vaguely idiotic, but he can’t bring himself to care.


End file.
